I personally don’t believe in the expression, “All’s fair in love and war”. In fact, I’m not sure that anyone does. It seems to me that love are war are two events that require the most rules and restrictions. I have a hard time envisioning any event associated with that kind of behavioral freedom. Except one.

Driving.

People are ruthless out there. It’s Emily Post’s worst nightmare. Darwin’s theory of Survival of the Fittest finds indisputable evidence on any of America’s roadways. But why? Because we have somewhere to be? People aren’t that crazy in public restrooms, and anybody there has an obvious desperate need as well. On the road people change. We shout words we ordinarily wouldn’t whisper, we give the finger, we ride bumpers, we curse the elderly, there are no limits! We even pick our noses, as if the windshield were some magical one way mirror. And all of those who have been caught know full well–it’s not!

My brother was literally chased down the freeway once after casting one of those classic dirty faces we give when we finally pass the moron who has ruined our life. (Side note, does anybody else feel bad after receiving one of those and then have a pretend argument with that person in your mind?) Eventually he escaped, but only after the raging lunatic (with his family on board) had reversed his car off the exit ramp and tried to run my brother off the road.

Civilized, human behavior mutates into savage-like combat behind a mere mobile bubble. Or is it that somehow sheet metal simply reveals human behavior for what it really is? I don’t know, but I do know the next time somebody cuts me off, there’s gonna be hell to pay.