With 33 nieces and nephews I know children can be sweet, loving, innocent, forgiving, great examples…I know that.

However, as a childless know-it-all, I am quick to perceive the many shortcoming of youth. To name a few: they have no control over their emotions, they are ungrateful, and they expect everyone else to take care of their problems (I know my husband is rolling his eyes at me). Kids can really just turn me off.

But what irks me the very most? The messes. Everywhere. And I’m talking children plenty old enough to clean up after themselves. But no. They just toss their crap everywhere without a thought to how it gets cleaned up. They know someone else will do it. They have the audacity to pretend they don’t see their parents tracing their every step, sometimes crawling on all fours just to pick up after them.

Que my inevitable reality check.

It happened while eating an overpriced bucket of popcorn (it’s pretty sad we can say the words ‘eating’ and ‘bucket’ in the same sentence without shame). With the movie over, I subconsciously brushed all the crumbs from off my entire body, noticed a small amount of buttery residue on my fingertips, WIPED them on the side of the cushion (because well no one touches that part anyway…except maybe with their dirty fingers), and placed my bucket on the ground. And WALKED AWAY.

Only in movie theaters, stadiums, and hotel rooms will “upstanding” grown-up adults unabashedly leave their garbage. Why? Because we know someone else will take care of it.  Does anyone else avoid eye contact with the guys with the brooms or dart out of the hallway as soon as you see your hotel housekeeping? It’s called shame.

Yet another,”This is why I am still unfit to parent because I’m a hypocrite” moment.