Confessions From My Superiority Complex

I enjoy superiority. Oh stop, so do you.

Sometimes when I start thinking about terrifying animals (sharks, snakes, bats, etc.) I feel threatened that an animal could seriously and ruthlessly kill me (okay maybe not bats, but they’re terrifying regardless. Don’t even try to tell me,

“They’re more scared of you than you are of them.”

Really? Because I don’t see them freaking out and flying away in desperation. Or crying. Seems they enjoy my proximity. The feeling isn’t mutual).  Then after feeling threatened, I get defensive. And angry. And a little irrational. A lot of emotion, I know. Then the worst part- I start having fake arguments inside my head with the threatening animal:

Oh yeah, you dumb shark? You think you’re so big and scary and powerful. Prove it! Your best weapons and defenses against mine.

DRAW! Shotgun. Now what Shark? Did you really think your pointy teeth stood a chance against my advanced weaponry? Forget about it. Top of the food chain baby. Us humans have progressed far beyond your kind. And you know what else? You animals don’t even have a system of government! You are completely uncivilized!

Then I feel like an idiot. Happy Shark Week people.

***And yes, I do realize the sequence of my posts was a poor choice.

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